Shriekeasy

The Gay Uncle had dinner with some parent friends the other night, and this couple told him about an interesting new trend in New York pre-schools. Apparently things have gotten so competitive in this category–with school directors being plagued by constant calls, demands for visits, thousand child wait-lists, and paper-bagged cash bribes–that some popular early childhood centers have chosen to go off line completely. They don’t have websites. They keep their phone numbers unlisted. They disavow signage, advertising, or press. Some have even gone so far as to require a secret knock and password before entering. Okay, that last bit is a lie, but they do operate solely on word of mouth and a certain hush-hush in-the-know quality–like the exclusive and unadorned nightlife spots that have sprung up around Manhattan in recent years–and when moms are granted an ultra-exclusive opportunity to tour the facility, they are required to vow that they will not tell anyone of the time or date of their rendezvous, not even their closest friends. Gunc’s pal was one of the fortunate few asked to drop by one day, and was shocked to see three of her closest mommy mates in the same group, not one of whom had mentioned the appointment to any of the others. Like most practices related to contemporary parenting the G.U. is at once horrified and intrigued by this, and is attempting to come up with an appropriate (and appropriately condemnatory) name for this practice or school. Extrapolating from the name of the bars that sprung up around New York during prohibition, but adding in a little crying toddler noise for good measure, so far he’s running with Shriekeasy, but he’s open to suggestions. Drop a line below with your ideas.