Posted on by Brett

Olden Shower

img_2116.jpgThe Gay Uncle hasn’t been to a baby shower in some time. Not because he hates baby showers almost as much as crowds, parades, and rainbows. Not because he never knows what to bring the expectant family (not a problem, he just grabs a copy of The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting off the staggering pile in his office, writes a witty inscription, and wraps it up). And not because he doesn’t enjoy watching people open up onesie after onesie and joining in a Greek chorus of fake “awwww”s. No, it’s mostly because his contemporary friends and family members have gotten too old, too tired, or too vasectomized to have kids. But every so often, someone manages to land one in the hole, so to speak. This happened to a friend in L.A. recently, and so while Gunc was out west covering the auto show as his alter ego (Vanity Fair’s Gay Car columnist) he popped by the party. He caught up with a horde of mutual acquaintances, ate a delicious deck of tiny crust-less sandwiches and chugged some expensive wines. In fact, everything was going swimmingly. Until he saw the cake. The G.U. would like someone to explain to him how an acre of pink fondant onto which is moored a tiny, naked, plastic infant being joyously suffocated under a rose-y blanket is an appropriate means of commemorating such an occasion. He awaits your responses.

9 Replies to “Olden Shower”

  2. I saw the pic and thought of Cake Wrecks too. And this looks like a hommage to the site? Please tell me it is?

    Side note: Does this turn poo pink like blue icing does? I experienced blue poo for the first time the other day and am just wondering so I can make a note and not wonder who beat my child or why his cheeks were suffocating themselves.

  3. first of all, youre an absolute idiot. Of all the things that we as GLBT people face, it would be nice, if for once, some gay cliche stereotye didnt bend over backwards (pun intended) to prove the stereotype right that gay men just “dont get it” and therefore shouldnt be parents. I have worked my ass off proving to the powers that be that I am worthy to be a parent. It is because of people like you that families like us have to prove ourselves at all. We have to prove that we are not like you. We have to prove that we can raise healthy well educated children who grow up to be accepting men and women who know the true meaning of equality and know that they have enough confidence and integrity that they dont have to make fun of other peoples beliefs in order to justify their own. My Partner and I adopted two boys who are thrilled to gave gay dads. So many of my friends said..”wow I didnt know that was legal” and do you know why they asked me this? It is because the rights and laws of the GLBT are so minimized that people dont even know what little rights they have and subsequently go uneducated.
    I am sad to say that as long as there are people out there like you , the GLBT community will continue to believe that its just not possible. and that we should all be just like you…cynical cliches of all that society says being gay should embody. You are a disgrace to our movement. Just because YOU dont want to be a parent, do you *have* to look down your nose at parenting like your above it all?? Who the hell are you? If parenting is such a burden that you would never bear…then dont. Go on with your shallow existence, but in the meantime do us all a favor, dont waste my time and yours writing three paragraphs making fun of something that youll never be man enough to have.

  4. Donny has confirmed my greatest fear that irony is the first casualty of gay assimilation — though he should be congratulated on so accurately fulfilling the emergent stereotype of the hostile, self-righteous, hyper-earnest gay parent. And all this for a complaint about a CAKE — well, that just takes it, as it were.

  5. Hey Donny – As a parent myself I am equally proud of teaching my kids to embrace those who seem different from themselves *and* to have a sense of humor. I hope you find yours.

  7. from what i could see it was a baby with Disney eyes, a very prominent butt and kind of a cheescake pose
    i guess we should be thankful that it was
    never mind
    i was about to get too twisted for even myself

    i say go with cupcakes and lose the pink over-the-top cake
    i mean, there’s not enough cute shit at baby showers?

  9. people, please cut brett some slack- he doesn’t go to a lot of baby showers. that is one funny cake, i agree. it’s just scary what we women get used to seeing at baby showers…

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