In an interesting interpretation of the notion of persecution, a Memphis immigration judge has granted political asylum to a German family who moved to the States in order to homeschool their children in a devout Christian form: far from the pagan witches, satanic sprites, and non-father-and-mother-honoring kids that populate the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm, a standard text of Teutonic schooling. Keeping kids out of an officially registered school is illegal in Germany, where the law exists in order to (as the NYTimes reports) “foster social integration, ensure exposure to people from different backgrounds and prevent the formation what some call ‘parallel societies.'” The Gay Uncle is sure there are instances in which home schooling feels necessary– where the schools are truly and intractably terrible, where moving isn”t an option, where you believe bigoted brainwashing benefits children–but he has to side with the German government on this one. Why? A few reasons. First, home schooling is the ultimate version of placing the needs of the individual over those of the group. Schools rely on a wide mix of kids, with all sorts of different abilities and intelligences and cultures and histories, to help everyone thrive and learn to get along. If kids opt out, they”re not able to gain from, or give to, the knowledge base of the group, or help foster the inter-human understanding that makes this little thing called “society” work. Second, you don”t Home Dentist or Home Neurologist your child, do you? Why? Because when you”re not expert in something having to do with their welfare, it”s best to rely on the skills of trained professionals–and while it may come as a surprise to you–and to some teachers–educators are trained professionals with years of schooling, mentoring, and experience. (Ask yourself, what is it about the level of disrespect for the job of teaching that makes so many people assume that they could do it better?) Finally Gunc loves scary weird fairy tales and all the invented mystical insanity and questionable moral choices they reflect, much like he loves Bible stories and all the invented mystical insanity and questionable moral choices they reflect. They’re an amazing tool for encouraging children to think about narrative, imagination, fiction vs. reality, and (human-smiting) repercussions. This whole ruling hearkens back to the Bush II era [G.U. spits on ground] when adherence to fundamentalist religious practices politicized every sphere of civic life, including international law (think, de-funding family planning facilities overseas, or starting a holy war in the Middle East.) Gunc says, boo!