In a stunning display of the advanced nature of Northern European social policies, a pair of openly gay penguins at a Danish zoo were granted the right to adopt a newborn human baby. The child, a healthy American boy given up for adoption by his Republican parents in the wake of Mitt Romney’s failed presidential bid, will be brought up in the penguin enclosure. “We are very happy,” said one of the proud father penguins, in Danish, before regurgitating some herring and spitting it into the child’s open mouth.