Here’s an exquisite idea whose time the Gay Uncle believes has truly arrived: give little kids fake pills in order to try and elicit a placebo effect. They’re going to have to get used to swallowing medicine soon enough anyway, since we all know that every newborn baby is just an incipient case of ADHD, episodic depression, and/or bipolar disorder. So why not prep them right now by having them take capsules to “cure” intractable problems like the pain of skinned knees, the grody taste of spinach, or the sadness associated with the end of today’s episode of Dora? They can develop their esophagus muscles. They can learn that nothing that exists (particularly the banality of nothingness itself) that can’t be cured by modern science. And it would do away with all that nasty physical contact involved with our current “a kiss will make it better” placebo practice. Gunc gives it two thumbs up! What do you think?