Dog Day

The Gay Uncle attended a barbecue at a friend’s place upstate the other day, and was joined by a few other friends, including a couple with two small kids. Also in attendance was the host’s puppy. The sun shone, the vegetarian-options were bountiful, and there was plenty of beer, so the G.U. was very happy. Wally (the dog) and Abraham (the two year-old) were happy as well, as they share a fascination with sticks, of which there were a plethora on the host’s wooded lawn. Unfortunately, they seemed to share a fascination with exactly the same sticks: a foot and a half long, four inches around, stripped of bark. Also unfortunate, was the fact that the dog seemed to like the sticks just a bit more…bitingly than the little boy. Both young animals attempted to communicate their desires to the other–Abe by waving his stick around in the air and shouting; Wally by licking Abe’s arm salaciously, jumping up toward his stick’s high end, grabbing it in his mouth, and attempting to play the game of fetch he assumed was being initiated. Much whimpering, running, and shouting (barking) ensued on both ends, with each party attempting to make the most of their limited brain energy and communicative skills. “He thinks you’re playing,” one grown up explained to the boy. “I am playing,” Abe responded (just not the same game, or with the dog.) In the end, it became clear that it was impossible for these puppies to dialogue, and Wally was put inside for a time out. After a few moments of uninterrupted play with his stick, Abraham looked up, bewildered. “Where’d the doggie go?”