Bandwagon

Some of you may not know this about The Gay Uncle, but in addition to being an established and well-respected expert on young kids and child development, he also knows a little something about…cars. In fact, he knows enough to write a weekly online column about cars for Vanity Fair. It’s called Stick Shift (see that name up there in his headings?) and given its increasing prominence, folks often approach him to solicit advice about what kind of car they should get. He’s recently been peppered quite a few times with a particular question: “What kind of car is good for a mom with two kids?” Being Gunc, he usually turns the inquiry on its head. “What kind of vehicle are you thinking of?” And very often, the answer he gets from the ladies is that they’re looking for “…an SUV?” Imagine that. In this economy. With oil running out, and bound to head up again in price, they want to waste their money (not to mention our earth’s precious resources) pushing around some overweight, hulking piece of metal, when in reality, there are other, just as practical options. Being stylish at heart, Gunc would never utter the M-Word (he’ll spell it: M-i-n-i-v-a-n). So what does the he recommend instead? Wagons! Not little red Radio Flyer types (though that would be cute.) Station wagons. A Subaru Forester or Legacy will do. But if you want to be even the least bit creative (and enjoy life a bit more), Gunc recommends you head elsewhere. Audi and BMW both make beautiful wagons in a variety of sizes (A4 and A6, and 3 and 5 Series, respectively) and a one or two year-old, Certified Pre-Owned one is surprisingly affordable. Cadillac is just about to release its first one maybe ever (CTS) and it’s hot as hell. Volvo is famous for its full-sized wagons like the V70, but the smaller V50 is absolutely adorable. VW makes a great pair of wagons in Jetta and Passat varieties. The Toyota Venza is butt ugly, but it’s essentially a Camry wagon. The Dodge Journey is pretty much a wagon, albeit a pretty crappy one. The Saab SportCombi is a fantastic wagon. Even Honda is about to get back into the wagon game with a new Accord Estate. And while it looks ever so slightly M-Word-ish, the Mazda 5 tall wagon is an excellent option as well.

Of course, whenever the G.U. pitches theses wagon at folks, they inevitably counter: “But we have a LOT of stuff to carry around.” To which Gunc says: “If you have more stuff than can fit in a wagon, you have TOO MUCH STUFF. Prepare to dump.” (If you need help figuring out what not to carry around, and why, take a look at Gunc’s piece on Lifeboating.) Regardless of whether or not you get a new vehicle, carting around a bunch of extra junque in your trunque all the time increases wear on your car, clutters up your life, and lowers your gas mileage. In these times of CHANGE, start thinking how you can get yourself some.