The Gay Uncle is in Denver for work today, which means that he’s being treated to views of the Rocky Mountains, some weirdly balmy 70 degree weather, and an ever so slight aura of Deadwood at every turn (mostly derived from the weird “Western” font they use on everything here.) It also means that he gets to hang out with his good friends Victoria and Butch who live in the Mile High City. These two have added a second son to their brood since the G.U. last saw them, and that little infant seems to be doing just fine. But they’ve been having a bit of a struggle with their older boy Skylar, 4.5. “He turns everything into a weapon,” Victoria said over dinner. “A stick, broccoli, a piece of toast. And it’s not just that, he’s fascinated with killing things. He’s not just shooting. He saying, I’m killing daddy. Or, I’m burning up the cat with a laser. It gets to the point sometimes where it really disturbs me.” Gunc asked if they had a rule about gunplay at Skylar’s school. “Yeah. They don’t allow it. I get so fed up sometimes that I suggest to him that we have a ‘no-kill day’ where he’s not allowed to pretend to murder anyone. Where he has to find other ways to channel his energies. And it ends up forcing him to be much creative with his imagination.” The Gay Uncle felt like she’d solved her own problem, and he told her. “I love that rule. Sounds like you’ve solved your own problem.” He suggested that she implement this practice at once. “It’s fine to place restrictions on things your kids like, even things they really like–ice cream, TV, mass murder. This isn’t ruining their fun or their life. This is your job.” He suggested that in order to get Skylar’s buy-in, they together create a list of things that would be disallowed, as well as other forms of play that would be deemed acceptable. And because The G.U. is all about using appropriation as a too for defeating kids, he even suggested that one way not to have a battle about this all the time, would be to use his patented “Co-Option Option” where you allow kids to have access to the illicit on a very restricted basis. “In addition to the general ban on killing, you could implement a once-monthly or once-a-season All-Kill Saturday, where’s he’s allowed to go sick on everything. Circle the date on the calendar, and let him know in advance.” Gunc imagines that the excitement of this kind of day would wear off very quickly. So long as they’re not stockpiling weapons and ammo in anticipation.