Live in or near a resort town, and at a loss for what to do with the kiddies this week? Here’s an idea from The Gay Uncle’s not-quite brother-in-law, Nick, father of his adorable nieces Cakes (1), Lucia (10), and Faye (9), and step-father to niece Amber (10). Apparently, during dull an otherwise day last weekend, brilliant Nick was struck with a realization: it’s Spring Break. So in response, he belted all the girls into the minivan, rolled down all the windows, cranked the A.C., and drove up and down the main drag of Key West, Florida–where they all live–screaming at the clots of College Kids who stood outside every bar teetering, leering, and/or throwing up into their cups of cheap beer and vodka/Diets. “Woooo-hoooo!!!” he had the girls shout. “Spring Break!!! 2009!!! Rock on!!!!” As a means of penetrating a bit deeper into the local culture, he even had them ad-lib a bit based on whatever identifying phrases were written across the chests or asses of their cut-off sweats and t-shirts. When the girls saw the orange and green of University of Florida, they were told to shriek “Go Gators!”. When they saw the black and maroon of Florida State, they were told to holler “This is Seminole Territory, Yo!!” Gunc can’t remember any of the other colors or team names, but take it from him. It. Was. Awesome. Plus, it taught the girls how to make fun of fraternity douchebags, something that will certainly come in handy as they enter their adolescent years.