Audi Q7 Swallows HUGE Load

All you parents out there need to read this! It’s about an enormous seven-passenger SUV that is motivated by an efficient diesel engine. It’s the Audi Q7 TDI!!

Read about how it carries five people, and a fortnight’s worth of baby crap, on an Upstate NY “Lifeboating” adventure, by clicking right here.

Jonah Hex Review

Other people seem to think it sucked–and by “other people”, I mean EVERYONE. But I really enjoyed Jonah Hex. Why? Mostly because it featured some hilarious and insidious Tea Party references, and because it included the stunning synthetic construction that is Megan Fox.

Read my review for the Vanity Fair site here.

Catios: Cats as Mental Illness

Though it has nothing to do with cars, Glee, gays or any of my other usual topics (well, it’s peripherally related to lesbianism), I couldn’t resist commenting on a piece in today’s NY Times about catios. What are catios? Well, they’re little outdoor areas, frequently urban outdoor areas like apartment balconies, that have been enclosed with chain link, chicken wire or some other feline-impermeable material. Why? Sheer craziness! I’ve long held a theory that ownership of more than two cats qualifies as a mental illness, and if you read the article, you’ll note that all of the catio builders featured therein have at least three, and as many as seven felines. I rest my case!

I have three reactions to this “trend”. First, if you fear that your cat is inclined to jump off a ten story balcony and into the streets of Greenwich Village–as one of the owners cites as inducement to enclosing her once lovely outdoor space with a jerry-rigged assemblage of deer mesh and “Oriental” garden statuary–the animal is probably not suited to city (or any form of) life, so building a cage will ultimately not help it (or you.) Second, this futile desire to try and control for every potentially injurious situation that may confront an allegedly helpless being (and the correlative feelings of power, primacy, and panic it imbues in the guardian) is akin to extremely counterproductive contemporary parenting practices such as not allowing kids to venture outside for fear they will be immediately abducted or run over, and/or making them wear so much protective gear when they are allowed out from in front of the Wii that they are debilitated and denied any experience of what used to be known as “fun.” It is basically poor stewardship. Finally, these fenced-in structures are hideously ugly, and adding ugliness to your abode is not something I–or any of the gay pets that are forced to live in such eyesores (and statistics, and The NY Times itself suggests they exist)–can ever abide. I would like to note, however, that the Habitrail-style catio (pictured above) built by a pair of lesbians in Toronto, is kind of awe inspring, in a creepy house-with-far-too-many-Christmas-decorations-in-the-yard kind of way.

[Photo Credit: Steve Payne/NYT]

Which Hot GLEE Dude is Your Sporty Compact Car?

Though perhaps not exactly clear on first glance, this question actually does make sense. Sort of. Or at the very least, it allows me the opportunity (pretense?) to combine my twin obsessions–Glee and Cars–over at the Vanity Fair website.

Is you car Puck, Finn, Mike, Artie, or Kurt? Find out by clicking here.

The Gay Guide to Glee: Episode 22, “Journey”

This week was the season finale of the first season of Glee, and it is not without a tinge of melancholy that I write the last of the school year’s Glee-caps for the Vanity Fair site.

Check out my synthesis of this week’s conflicted/fulfilling episode, and my speculative predictions for the coming fall by clicking right here.

[Photo by Adam Rose/FOX]

BABE Rally 2010

The BABE Rally is a 1500 mile, cross country, mobile scavenger hunt that is taking place right now on the highways of America (or at least on certain portions of the highways of America.) Each team of contestants drive a beater, purchased for under $500, south from New York over the course of five days, completing absurd challenges–the most difficult of which involves keeping their shitboxes running. As if the Gulf Coast needed any additional pollution, their destination is New Orleans.

I visited the send-off party for this year’s run and took some photos of the crappiest vehicles for my car column at Vanity Fair.com. Click here to meet the winners (losers?).

And if you’re interested in reading the essay I wrote following last year’s BABE Rally, you can do so by clicking here—-> You’re-Are-Here

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