Wherein a friend and I undertake a ridiculous, 24-hour, 1000-mile adventure in a six-figure hot-rod station wagon, attempting to answer the literal and philosophical question: Are we in love with our baggage?

Transcending the dreaded “sofa-bed” paradox.

Click on the thumbnail above (and then click again) to view a crappy scan. Or just buy the magazine on the newsstand, you chintzy bitch.

I flew to Scotland and drove $500,000 worth of Aston Martins around Loch Ness and through the Scottish highlands. Surprise result: I enjoyed this. My latest for Road & Track.

What would you do if you owned an inhospitable, 7250-acre, rubbly, caliche-undergridded plot of west-central Texas, plagued by fire ants, tarantulas, Africanized bees, and rabid foxes? If you’re Goodyear, you’d flood it and test 12 foot tall truck tires.

Click the thumbnail above (and then click it again) to view a crappy scan of my latest edition of “Test Track Lunacy” for Road & Track, or just buy the magazine on the newsstand, you chintzy bitch.

My latest feature for Road & Track magazine is out in the March/April issue. It’s all about my time celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Alaska Miata Club, in Alaska, with a souped-up Miata. You can click on the thumbnails above to view crappy scans of each page in the six page piece (then click them again to zoom in), or you can just buy the magazine on the newsstand, you chintzy bitch.

The Lane Motor Museum holds one of the largest and oddest collections of tiny, weirdo, orphan cars ever assembled. And once a year, you can pay to drive some of them. Or, if you’re me and writing about it for the February 2014 issue of Road & Track, you can drive them for free. Click the image above to view a crappy scan of the article (and then click it again to make it bigger and more legible). Better yet, just buy the magazine on the newsstand, you chintzy bitch. (p.22)

I have two articles in this month’s Road & Track magazine. In the first, I write about a test track in Arizona that replicates the shittiest road in New York City–an ersatz stretch used by Nissan to test their so-called Taxi of Tomorrow. I also test drive a new Rolls Royce in the Austrian Alps, and deem it as decidedly on brand as Hell (as in, Hades).

Click the thumbnails above to view crappy links of each piece, or just buy the magazine on the newsstand, you chintzy bitch.

Another tale of automotive mayhem for Road & Track. Starring my 92 year-old Grandma Bobbie, her Gold Lexus, her 96 year-old best friend Evelyn Cantor, and a eerily treacherous stretch of suburban Detroit roadway.

An explanation of why, after I was destroyed and financially debilitated by one 1980s Jeep Grand Wagoneer, I went out and bought a second. For Road & Track.

Renowned New York City graffiti artist Lee Quinones explains why Hell hath no (Gran) Fury like a 80s (Dodge) Diplomat. The next installment in my 10-part series for Road & Track.