Brett Berk

VANITY FAIR, "STICK SHIFT" | THE GAY UNCLE'S GUIDE TO PARENTING

Thursday

17

April 2008

What’s Your Sign?

Written by , Posted in General & Random

images4.jpgThe Gay Uncle has fumed about it many times, but it was only this morning that he finally realized his true feelings: Signing to your baby is stupid! He’s sure that other people have loads of good reasons why it’s useful and beneficial and necessary, but here’s his anti-infant-ASL rationale:

1) Your baby has very little of interest to say that you don’t already know (I’m dirty, More milk, I’m dirty)
2) You look like an asshole when you’re doing it
3) There’s certain thoughts to which we just shouldn’t have access. For example, when they taught a captive gorilla sign language, one of the first things she said was “I’m sad because the hunters took my baby away.”

8 Comments

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