Happy Mother’s WEEKEND…and Contest

Posted on May 9th, 2008 at 4:09 pm by Brett

One day out of the whole freaking year is not enough for the nation’s mommies. So the Gay Uncle is officially endorsing the idea that Mother’s Day be turned into a WEEKEND LONG CELEBRATION. This will give moms time to accomplish all of the things that are required of them during the holiday: Being taken out to a very expensive dinner; Receiving numerous bouquets of gorgeous flowers; “Relaxing”; Pretending to enjoy the rubbery eggs or pancakes that the kids cooked themselves for breakfast-in-bed; Pretending to enjoy the idea of eating in your bed at all; Having sloppy sex with the partner of your choosing; Picking crumbs of rubbery eggs or pancakes off your back after the sloppy sex; Getting a professional back-rub (not one of those sucky, one-handed, one-minute jobs family members dole out as if they’re doing you a favor); Sleeping in; Skipping the kids’ t-ball game to have a champagne lunch with the girls; Watching a greatest hits clip of all the best movie makeovers; Doing the laundry.

CONTEST: Let Gunc know how many of the items from this list you receive this Mother’s Weekend. The mommy with the most wins a free autographed copy of the book. The mommy with the least receives a free snarky scolding email sent by G.U. directly to their partner and/or children (for real!)

Filed Under General & Random

Comments

3 Responses to “Happy Mother’s WEEKEND…and Contest”

queerunity on May 10th, 2008 5:19 am

i like the idea of mothers weekend

http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com
Jenn on May 12th, 2008 1:40 pm

I did laundry. And threw a mini-temper tantrum that I didn’t get to do anything special, and sent myself to bed early.

Monday morning, I got breakfast (not in bed) with fresh-squeezed orange juice. Thank goodness my daughter is too young to discover that sometimes tantrums DO get you what you want.
Danielle on May 14th, 2008 4:14 pm

1) Slept in late - check (one day out of two)
2) Hubby did laundry - check (oh, wait, he always does the laundry).
3) Frittered away time in the garden - check
4) Snuggled baby & not-yet-too-cool preschooler - check
5) Purchased more plants than I can actually plant - check
6) Had family over & lost mind before they showed up (bonus prize!) - check
7) Got into a snit over boning chickens for Mothers’ Day dinner, well, no one asked for that one. Do I get a demerit? At least there was no chicken butchering involved
Received obligatory hand-made and perilous yet precious gift from preschooler - check (it is a petunia, and it is still alive)

What didn’t happen - a second day of gardening, sex or any knitting. But all-in-all, I can’t complain. It was really all about items number one, six and eight. Mothers’ Day is already a weekend event at our house … so much more civilized.