The Gay Uncle’s beautiful sister called the other day to alert him to a milestone: his baby niece’s first word. Being a clothes hound, like the baby’s mother, G.U. was pleased to hear that the child’s first coherent utterance was…”Outfit”. He knew he liked that kid. But her second word held an even better story. Sis Roxy has been trying to get the little bugger to say “Mama” for months, repeating it to the girl all day long in various inflections. “Mama. Mama. Maaama. Maaama. Mama.” The child seemed to relish this focused attention, so even though it delivered no results, Roxy kept it up. Finally, one evening when she was getting together an OUTFIT for her weekly girl’s night out, she became so frustrated with the girl’s steadfast refusal to deliver the all-important maternal designation, that she began browbeating her with it. “MAMA! MAMA! MAAAA-MAAAA! Say MAMA. Mamamamamamamamamama. Say it! Say it!” Her baby, perched on the bed, looked up at her, tilted her head, and spoke. “DA-DA.”
Roxy was devastated (and enraged) by this betrayal, until Gunc reminded her that the infantese word for father in just about every language contains an easier-to-pronounce hard consonant sound, whereas the word for mother contains a more-difficult soft one, stacking the odds in daddy’s favor. “Why is that?” Roxy asked. “Well,” G.U. responded. “It’s a little thing called The Patriarchy. But don’t worry. We’ll bring it down soon.”
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My mother also hit upon the perfect Grandma name–Nana. She is so pleased that one of Zoe’s first words was Nana, and refuses to believe that all babies make the na sound first. So chalk one up for the Matriarchy:)