An article in a French Canadian automobile publication–covering my coverage of the new Camaro SS–has been busting things up over here at BrettBerk.com. (For Google’s awesome English translation, click here.) This is wonderful as The Gay Uncle (in his Stick Shift incarnation) j’adores Canada. But he fears folks might be confused seeing all this parenting stuff, so here are some quick links:
Perfect Baby Book Giveaway…for FOOLS!
It’s April Fools’, our nation’s stupidest holiday! You heard right. While the Gay Uncle loves jokes, he hates surprises. And since most April Fools’ jokes hinge on shock and revelation, he finds them tedious (Oh my god! You mean my mom wasn’t really hit by a car?). The one exception he makes for this holiday is with kids. Kids LOVE surprises, shock, and revelation; these tactics feed their burgeoning understanding of narrative. So when he taught preschool, he used a standard April Fools’ taunt, wherein, when the kids came back from washing up for the morning snack, instead of fresh fruit, whole grain crackers, and juice, they would find plates of pebbles, baskets of leaves, and pitchers of mud. Imagine the hilarity that ensued. (Of course, the G.U. would have already introduced the idea of April Fools’ and what it means prior to this, so the kids didn’t think he really expected them to eat this shit.)
Which brings him to the point of today’s message. Gunc’s “friend” (and by that, he means Facebook Friend) Dale Hrabi has written a humorous book called “The Perfect Baby Handbook” which just came out last week. Dale’s publicist fucked up and didn’t send a review copy, so Gunc has no real details to share. But suffice it to say that, based on the title, and a few witty mass-emails he’s received from Dale, the Gay Uncle estimates that the book is at least a 7+ on funny spectrum. So, in celebration of Dale, his book, and this “holiday”, the G.U. will be giving away three copies. All you have to do is tell him about the best prank you ever played on your kid. It doesn’t even have to be an April Fools’ prank. Any everyday lie, cheat, or intentional misconstruing will do, so long as it is hilarious. Gunc will pick the three best ones, and get Dale’s publicist to ship (or perhaps not ship) a copy to you! So, have at it in COMMENTS below.
The Unbearable Lightness of Peeing
This week, in his MOMLOGIC column the Gay Uncle takes a close (but not too close!) look at another idiotic product, this one, a freestanding urinal for toddlers. You can put it in your living room!