Necessity’s the Mother
When the Gay Uncle was younger, he had a Canadian friend who possessed an intriguing verbal tic. Whenever he’d use an idiomatic expression, he’d curtail it: skipping the second half, and substituting in the ever so Canuck term, “Eh?” So, for example, when discussing the difficulty of forcing someone to do something, he might come out with, “You can lead a horse to water, eh?” Or when commenting on the superiority of the sure thing, he might opine, “A bird in the hand, eh?” Why is Gunc plaguing you with this information? Because it’s Mother’s Day, and as we all know from personal experience, and/or from watching Schoolhouse Rock, most of the great inventions that ushered in our excellent modern era–including The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting–were born of maternal desperation. In other words, “Necessity’s the mother, eh?”
The G.U. is celebrating Mother’s Day exactly as he should: far away from any parents or kids, in an inn in rural Alaska. But that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking of all you mommies out there. And to you, he raises his Bloody Mary and says, “Thank you! (Eh?)” Without you and your need for his expertise, he wouldn’t have a career. And his life would be boring, empty, and meaningless.
Happy Mother’s Day.