Thankful for New Material

Another family holiday, another profound adventure with The Gay Uncle’s excellent Brother-In-Law, Marty. You may remember the M-Man from previous escapades wherein he tried to capture a prairie dog, got into a fight with an iguana, or attempted to lure a wild donkey into the Atlantic Ocean with apples so his young daughters could ride on it. Well, during a walk in the park down in North Carolina yesterday, Marty found another yet unexplored untamed species with with to taunt his tweenage daughters and niece: a snake! Not that the girls seemed to mind all that much. This flipped a switch in the infamous B-I-L. “Sniff it,” he ordered the girls, bringing the writhing reptile up to the young ladies’ noses. “When they get scared they release a stinky musky scent.” Failing to elicit shrieks or howls, or enhanced interest, he took another tactic. He held the little serpent above the snapping mouth of niece Violet’s yapping, fat Corgi. “Marty,” wise, vegetarian, older sister (in-law) Lizzie said with mocking patience, “please do not let the dog eat that defenseless animal.”