An annotated history of everyone’s favorite rectilinear militaristic luxury boulevardier, the Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen, starring Nazis, Riesling Vintners, The Shah, Drake, and the Pope.

Five Japanese collectibles that deliver everything a vintage car should: a small dent to your wallet, big smiles on the road, and the chance to turn a buck if you invest now.

Prepare for total domination.

I should not be trusted to make rational automotive decisions.

The phrase “entry level” means different things to different people. Here are the different things and the different people.

You were raised on fantasies of blatting droptop muscle cars and Buelleresque Ferrari Daytonas, and you don’t know how to find something topless, fun, affordable, and unexpected. Here’s your guide.

Step One: Relinquish Sanity

Like the perfect edible, the Jaguar XE has magic baked in. And it leaves you feeling no anxiety, just a kind of sumptuous confidence.

(BONUS slideshow featuring entry-level sport sedan competitors from Audi, BMW, Cadillac, and Mercedes.)

My latest piece for GQ is an article on high-end “restomods:” vehicles that are–or appear–old, but hide modern mechanicals beneath their vintage shells. Click on the crappy scan above to read it, or just buy the August 2013 issue on the newsstands, you chintzy bitch. (p. 40)