Champagne goes flat, caviar spoils and even a Kiton silk-cashmere tie will lose its luster when you spill champagne and caviar on it.

My latest for ShowBoats International, the official guide to floating offshore tax havens for Russian billionaires.

Wind buffetting? In a $350,000 Rolls Royce convertible? Don’t be impertinent, peasant.

Click on the link (and then click again) to read my latest car column from the November issue of billionaires’ yachting magazine ShowBoats International.

My latest automotive installment from the most jazz-handy named magazine in the world features the latest addition to the ultra-exclusive Rolls-Royce family. The Dawn drophead coupé. Find out everything about this everything car by clicking on the thumbnail above, and then clicking again.

The Alfa Romeo 4C Spider is less a spiritual heir to the charming Italian boat-tailed roadsters of the 1960s and 70s, and more like a bargain 21st century exotic, useful for melting your face (and your scalp).

Click the mysteriously sideways image above, and then click it again, to read my latest for ShowBoats International.

Luxury automakers need to be where their customers are. Even if that’s on the water.

“We don’t do ugly cars,” says Aston Martin CEO Andy Palmer.

My latest for ShowBoats International. Click on the thumbnail above, then click again, to view a cruddy scan.

Ferrari’s latest takes its inspiration from Tom Selleck’s car. We anticipate a hit. Our expert agrees, “Do not underestimate the power of the pop cultural/auto interface in fueling middle-aged male fantasy.”

Click on the thumbnail, and then click again, to read a scan of my latest for ShowBoats International.

These five upcoming ultra-luxury super-sporty six figure SUVs are preparing to tow you into a stratospheric price range. (Plus a special guest appearance by Jonathan Ward and his amazing ICON restomod SUVs.)

Click on the thumbnail above, and then click on it again, to view a scan of my latest showboating for ShowBoats International.

The opulent new Mercedes-Maybach S600 is inspired. And inspired by the classic Mercedes-Benz 600 beloved by diplomats, dictators, designers, and pornographers.

My latest for ShowBoats International. Click on the thumbnail above (and then click on it again) to view a cruddy scan.

Does a magazine exist that is named more appropriately for a flashy, swanning, performative, globetrotting bitch like me? ShowBoats International–an ultra-luxury yachting magazine dedicated to serving the global super rich–has just relaunched. And guess who is their new Automotive Editor? Moi, naturally. (Not that you could tell from that caricature they’ve included.)

For my first monthly column, I’ve featured the new Bentley Grand Convertible. Click on the thumbnail above (and then click on it again) to view a scan.