Car Seated

The Gay Uncle is trapped in a car dealership this morning, waiting for his automobile to be serviced. You may not know this, but G.U. is something of a car freak–posters on his wall as an adolescent, daily reader of blogs like Jalopnik, owner of vintage vehicles, fully familiar with the function of all of those greasy mechanisms under an automobile’s hood. He even wrote a novel set in the auto industry, which is currently seeking a home in the New York publishing world. He’s from Detroit, so that’s part of the explanation. But so is his older–and straight!–brother, and he doesn’t care a whit about cars; he doesn’t even own one! (Younger brother has the bug: two SAABs, including a rare Sonnet III.) Anyway, the point is, there is a small child in the dealership waiting room with him right now, and the boy is whining, shredding brochures, putting his greasy mitts all over the glossy display models, and otherwise making a nuisance of himself. If G.U. were not so polite about not calling strangers out on their poor parenting, he would gesture meaningfully toward the sign hanging above the Service Manager’s desk.

NEW YORK STATE LAW REQUIRES ALL CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF SEVEN TO BE RESTRAINED IN A FEDERALLY APPROVED CHILD RESTRAINT SYSTEM.

Hey, it doesn’t say anything about the kid being in a moving vehicle!