Brett Berk

While we’re still recovering from the shock of Ricky Martin’s stunning revelation, here’s my Vanity Fair.com slideshow of ten more famous folks whose covert homosexuality is equally “surprising.”

Every so often, some rising celebrity in the Parenting Advice world rings up the Gay Uncle and asks him to help them out with an expert opinion on a tangly topic. Since he abhors publicity, he usually says no. But every so often, the request is just too delicious to pass up. That was the case this past week when Vivian Manning-Schaffel (aka The Mad Mom) requested his assistance on the subject of defeating the demand rants of her two kids (whom she felt were “ganging up on her.”) What was Gunc’s advice? Read all about it here in her piece How NOT To Speak Whine.

The Gay Uncle answers this and other pressing questions–on diverse subjects like Tim Gunn, Hockey, Cardboard Boxes, and Fiber Blasts–in his fascinating and fast-paced MOMLOGIC interview with his pal (and former Editor-in-Chief of Babble) Ada Calhoun when he calls her from a Chicago airport hotel and asks her to tell him about her new book “Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids”. Don’t believe these things could all fit in one very short conversation? Then you haven’t talked to Ada. Read it and believe it!

BONUS: Win a copy of Ada’s book. Just leave a comment that describes how you succeeded as a parent when you went with your gut. Best story wins.

The Gay Uncle received a note from a desperate reader the other day.

I have three year old twin sons. The eldest (by eight minutes! Can’t forget that!) James, will sit in my lap off and on all day. His brother Simon, is not that much of a cuddler. Now here is my problem. James gets very jealous when he sees me holding Simon and will literally climb on top of me to edge Simon out of my lap. I have tried telling him to wait his turn, and that I am Simon’s mommy too, but he will refuse to give up. I have been patiently trying to change this reaction for almost a year with no luck. Is there anything else I can do?

Of course, he responded promptly!

First, it’s important to note that sibling rivalry is normal, even more so with twins who are going through many of the same issues at around the same time. Like with most areas of conflict with kids, the best solution is to try NOT to place yourself in the middle of the conflict. If you struggle back, the situation will usually escalate. So do your best to give James a single, straightforward, positivist, concrete instruction–“Simon’s on my lap right now, you can have a turn in TWO MINUTES if you wait patiently–and then ignore James when he continues his efforts, and be sure to follow through on 1) the timing and 2) the repercussions (not giving him some time in your lap) if he doesn’t abide.

Another option is what I like to call the Co-option Option. If James wants up in your lap when Simon is up there, have them both. Your lap is probably big enough. Suddenly, the struggle is taken out of the situation.

The third tactic is one that requires a bit more planning in its execution, but is important for any family with more than one kid. Give each of the kids some individuated attention on their own without their sibling. Take just James or just Simon to the park or a movie or a walk around the block or out for ice cream (you can return the favor with the other kid the following day or week, with a similar or different activity.) Of course, like with anything with young kids, let them know in advance of your plans, and how and when they’ll be included in this munificence in the near future as well (calendars are great for this, as they make the future–and abstract concept–concrete for young kids.) Explain that it’s important for everyone to get some special one-on-one time. Sometimes this is what kids are craving when they’re attempting to exert control over a sibling.

Finally, be aware of what else is going on in the kids’ lives when these issues come up. Things like toilet training or a move or starting school or a pregnancy can cause kids to become a bit more needy affection-wise. Tailor your responses accordingly.

In his role as Vanity Fair‘s online automotive columnist, the Gay Uncle takes the wheel of five of the sexiest, most powerful, most tenacious vehicles in autodom, plunges them around some twisty roads, and then searches for telltale signs of having gotten off, automotively speaking. Check it out.

This week in his Momlogic column, Gunc provides instructions on how to create a prancing baby boy. Check it out. Perhaps you are intelligent enough to understand the extraordinarily subtle humor involved in this piece, (unlike the majority of the commenters.)

I go back to Biltmore–the Vanderbilt’s enormous estate in Asheville, NC–and check in with a group of conservators working on one of the vehicles in the collection, dating from 1913. There, I discover that while George Vanderbilt may have been the world’s first Trustafarian, he sure liked to drive.

Check it out.

“Sissy Bounce: Rap Goes Drag!” Check out the amazing stories of New Orleans’ queered-out Bounce Music artists in my online column for Vanity Fair. And find links to listen to their tunes, their shows at SXSW, and the museum exhibits featuring photos of them (and the story of their music) in NYC, Austin, and NOLA.

[PHOTO CREDIT: Aubrey Edwards]

My review of Jason Vuic’s pithy new tome on the rather stunning history of the most craptastic vehicle ever created. Read it online at Vanity Fair.

This week, in my Vanity Fair car column, I look behind the black car(pet) at the world’s favorite star-studded traffic jam, and reveal the secret hierarchies of Oscar auto assignment. You will never be able to look at stars and cars in the same way. CHECK IT OUT

And if you love Hollywood and/or Automobiles you might want to consider these other three movie/car-related pieces:
Best Picture Contenders: Gay Porn Editions
Top 20 Movie Cars of the Aughties
Which Shirtless Twilight Hunk is your Hartop Convertible?