Brett Berk

The Census Bureau just issued a report demonstrating that the number of 40 year-old American women who have never had children has doubled in the past thirty years. A full fifth of ladies who’ve hit the two-score age benchmark–that’s 20% for those of you who aren’t good with fractions–are now without kids. While some of these women might be sad about their lack of offspring–and the Gay Uncle graciously pretends to sympathize with their pain–he ultimately sees this info as a positive sign. Though the Census Bureau doesn’t do anything in the way of causal analysis, Gunc’s willing to guess that this group is probably full of women who have carefully weighed their life choices–education, career, late night martini guzzling–and decided that kids don’t fit into that equation. Or perhaps it reflects the portion of our female population who have worked with children and parents in their professional life (as a teacher, in Buy Buy Baby, serving Happy Meals), or simply have many parent friends, and have seen first hand the difficulties and compromises involved in raising a child, and decided, Wiping up another animal’s shit? Fuck no. That’s not for me. Of course, it ‘s also possible that this statistic simply represents the two tenths of the ladies who are too damn ugly to land a man, or too cheap to spring for some donor-batter. G.U. is down with that too. Whatever the cause, he wants to take a moment to toast the childless. He supports you! Of course, if the parent population continues to decline, there will be no market for his amazing book, The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting. So support him right back and buy it right now.