Brett Berk

The Gay Uncle traveled to Nashville this morning to work on a consulting project for a major toy manufacturer, and so he got to spend some time in the airport–one of his favorite places to mine for intriguing parenting strategies. (See this old column.) While waiting for his plane to board, and pretending to listen to his iPod, he managed to overhear a exemplary conversation between a nice, forty-something mom, and whoever she was speaking to on the other end of her cell phone. “A cheese stick. A squeezable yogurt. A juice box.” she listed, with patronizing and enforced patience. “Yes. For all three of them.” Gunc figured she was speaking (down) to her husband, who was befuddled regarding what to pack the kids for lunch–a somewhat familiar conversation he’s witnessed many times before. (In fact, he heard a colleague with whom he was traveling recently have this exact conversation with her hubby about lunch for their two daughters. He apparently followed her instructions for those meals, though when she returned, it was revealed that for dinner, he fed the girls McDonald’s three nights in a row.) Then Ms. First Class Traveler delivered the punchline. “It’s very sweet that you want to help while mommy’s away–you’re such a good girl. But you’re only eight. Your father should make your lunch and ones for your brothers.” The woman paused, sighed, and changed her phone over to her other ear. “Can you put daddy on the phone, please?”