Airport Fun
Written by Brett, Posted in General & Random
The Gay Uncle is trapped at LAX this morning, awaiting his flight to the midwest to continue his book tour. He’s quite Zen about air travel, so he’s not irritable or anything. Especially because being in an airport allows him to witness all sorts of interesting methods of dealing with kids. So far this morning he has witnessed: Children being yelled at by TSA agents to remove their “footwear” (A meaningless term to them.); Children being offered mocha-frappuccinos before boarding an international flight (Beg your pardon mommy, but that has enough caffeine in it to reanimate a dead horse; this might make it difficult for your child to remain in their seat during take off.); Children rollerskating through crowded gate corridors on their “Heelys” while their parents look on angry, powerless, and bewildered (You bought those dumb shoes, and let them wear them here; really, what did you expect?) Parents yelling at their children to “stop crying right now, or we’re not going to go to Disneyworld” (Are you really going to be able to enforce that threat?) G.U. wonders if he should wander around a bit and gather up some info for The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Family Trips.
LOL! Mocha Frappuccinos before boarding a flight!
One of my highlights of airport travel is seeing 4 year olds with pacifiers and 5 year olds being pushed around the terminal in strollers.
It takes all the self control I have not to walk up and rip the paci right out of their mouths.
OMG – I just found my favorite new site! Love it GU!!
And Elizabeth? I’m such a bad parent, our first kid had a pacifier until he was 4 I think (at least three) …I had no idea that was “old” — he was still a tiny baby to me. Thank god for daycare, they finally made it clear (nicely) that no one else did that, and we got rid of it. Needless to say, I didn’t win “Mother of the Year” that year : D
But airtravel with kids under 4? Child abuse in my unpopular opionion : )
Heeleys? could be their own blog……why why WHY?
I think that Heelys are instruments of Satan. And that any parent who buys them deserves any aggravation (and resulting litigation) that they encounter!
Mocha Frappuccino? What, is that mom brain damaged?!! If anything, a nice benedryl milkshake would be in order!
Yes, the travel guide would be great! It amazes me how other families deal with travel. Since each kid is different, each parent’s arsenal of bribes/threats/strategies is different.
Do you promise extra treats to encourage them to behave? Or do you allow only fresh fruit and grains, to cut down on sugar related hyperactivity? I’ve done both – can’t tell if it made a difference!
I just returned from a round the country trip with my angelic and non-napping baby (who was so awake and well-behaved that fellow passengers and flight attendants commented every time we landed) and during a 4 hour leg of one of our many flights, I sat across the aisle from a lone mother toting her 18 m/o son. I could see trouble brewing when he boarded the flight with a bottle of chocolate milk and his mother telling him how “special it was to get chocolate milk because he never gets chocolate milk.” That bottle of milk was the only form of entertainment she brought for him, and I was sad to see it empty.
Other highlights:
1. A flight-attendant-provided cup of apple juice being batted onto the neighboring older lady during a tantrum. No open containers in small spaces during tantrums!
2. Screaming tantrum in the middle of the aisle that scared my angelic 5 month old so much that he started to scream out of fear.
3. Mysterious brown smelly stain on rear of child’s pants and mom who did not bring any sort of diaper, wipe or change of clothes.
4. Let’s shred the in-flight magazine as a desperate form of entertainment and let the flight attendant pick up the pieces every time she walks down the aisle! Fun!
[I’m glad I wasn’t sitting next to that lady. G.U.]