Though he’s kicked them around plenty in his book, the Gay Uncle is always pleased to see his friends Kate and Dylan, who have moved out to L.A. (where he is currently stationed as part of the national GUG book tour). This is not only because he ABSOLUTELY ADORES them and their kids Max and Athena, but because they’re always full of confessional parenting stories that he can then claim and make fun of. Last night was a perfect example.
During after-dinner drinks at the world’s greatest bar, Gunc was gushing about the joys of the outsider position of “Uncle”, and relating his delight in how open his former preschool students were with him in discussing the struggles and pressures they’re facing in their adolescence. In response, Kate was bemoaning the difficulty she often has as a mom in getting her five year old son to tell her anything about his day. As G.U. spells out in his book (Chapter 11: Drop and Ditch-Starting School) it can often be difficult for a child to answer open ended questions like “What did you do in school today?” An entire day is an enormous and amorphous amount of time to a young kid, and so the question lacks the concrete and specific grounding they need in order to access relevant information. (Akin to asking an adult, “So, what do people do in America?”) Plus, kids really enjoy–and deserve–having aspects of their life that are separate from their parents. But every so often, kids just get in what we in the ed biz call a “talky” mood, and they spontaneously volunteer information about their lives.
Apparently Max was in one of these the other afternoon at pick-up time, pulling on his mom’s graphic-t and slouchy suede purse, and wanting to explain the complexities of some interaction he’d had with his peers, and some kind of growth he’d undergone as a result. Of course, the roadway of parent/child communication is a two way street, and at that moment, Kate was busy doing some important social networking with some of the other mommies. “I turned to him, my son,” she confessed last night, “and told him, I don’t have time for this right now. Tell me later. He walked away with his head down. And of course, when I asked him about it later, in the car, he didn’t want to talk, or had forgotten, or was withholding.” She sighed. “I can’t believe, the thing I ask for the most, when it’s offered up, I reject it.” G.U. nodded sympathetically, and thought, Isn’t that just like life?