No, not that kind of Boston Marriage. The kind the Gay Uncle witnessed when he was in Beantown this past weekend, staying with his friends Clarisse and Miguel in their gentrifier’s paradise–a gorgeous row house in an “up and coming” part of town (though, as Miguel said, “Not as up and coming as we’d hoped it would be by now”). Through scripming and saving and buying eight years ago–and electing to live in this marginal neighborhood–Gunc’s friends were able to purchase a house with a rental unit, and they’ve installed as a tenant a student teacher at their daughter’s elementary school. In exchange for a reduction in rent, the girl provides a set number of hours of babysitting each month, they just have to schedule their time away from home a week in advance. This seemed like a great arrangement to the G.U., and while it doesn’t need to be predicated on being a slumlord like his pals, the idea of pre-paying for x amount of kid-freeness seems like it would a) guarantee some grown up time for the grown ups, b) force the adults to take advantage of this time–to see their friends, complete some business, get a cheapy massage at the reflexology place in the mini-mall, and c) make leaving the kids more routine, thus limiting the strumming of heart-stings, the invocation of guilt, and other familiar getting-out-of-the-house drama (see Chapter 1 of the book: Sinking the Stockholm Syndrome) The Gay Uncle isn’t saying you should go out every night, but it’s important–for yourself and for your kids–for you to be a person as well as a parent. What do you think of this idea?
2 Replies to “Boston Marriage”
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I agree! My parents used to have my son sleep over every Monday night. He saw it as a treat, it was very expected in his routine, and we got a date night once a week.
Great idea! If you know you’ve already paid for the time, you are far more likely to actually use it!