One day out of the whole freaking year is not enough for the nation’s mommies. So the Gay Uncle is officially endorsing the idea that Mother’s Day be turned into a WEEKEND LONG CELEBRATION. This will give moms time to accomplish all of the things that are required of them during the holiday: Being taken out to a very expensive dinner; Receiving numerous bouquets of gorgeous flowers; “Relaxing”; Pretending to enjoy the rubbery eggs or pancakes that the kids cooked themselves for breakfast-in-bed; Pretending to enjoy the idea of eating in your bed at all; Having sloppy sex with the partner of your choosing; Picking crumbs of rubbery eggs or pancakes off your back after the sloppy sex; Getting a professional back-rub (not one of those sucky, one-handed, one-minute jobs family members dole out as if they’re doing you a favor); Sleeping in; Skipping the kids’ t-ball game to have a champagne lunch with the girls; Watching a greatest hits clip of all the best movie makeovers; Doing the laundry.
CONTEST: Let Gunc know how many of the items from this list you receive this Mother’s Weekend. The mommy with the most wins a free autographed copy of the book. The mommy with the least receives a free snarky scolding email sent by G.U. directly to their partner and/or children (for real!)
i like the idea of mothers weekend
http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com
I did laundry. And threw a mini-temper tantrum that I didn’t get to do anything special, and sent myself to bed early.
Monday morning, I got breakfast (not in bed) with fresh-squeezed orange juice. Thank goodness my daughter is too young to discover that sometimes tantrums DO get you what you want. 🙂
1) Slept in late – check (one day out of two)
2) Hubby did laundry – check (oh, wait, he always does the laundry).
3) Frittered away time in the garden – check
4) Snuggled baby & not-yet-too-cool preschooler – check
5) Purchased more plants than I can actually plant – check
6) Had family over & lost mind before they showed up (bonus prize!) – check
7) Got into a snit over boning chickens for Mothers’ Day dinner, well, no one asked for that one. Do I get a demerit? At least there was no chicken butchering involved
8) Received obligatory hand-made and perilous yet precious gift from preschooler – check (it is a petunia, and it is still alive)
What didn’t happen – a second day of gardening, sex or any knitting. But all-in-all, I can’t complain. It was really all about items number one, six and eight. Mothers’ Day is already a weekend event at our house … so much more civilized.