The Gay Uncle went out canvassing for Barack again this weekend. But it was no ordinary, head out into the remote reaches of rural Pennsylvania with his boyfriend, knock on strangers’ doors and say, “Hi. We’re two gay guys from the City. Can we count on your vote for our candidate?” kind of thing, like it usually is around this time of year. Not at all. This time, his close friend Danika had emailed that she wanted to go to PA with him, inspired to hit the streets (for the first time since the Dukakis campaign) by her nine year-old daughter Erica’s desire to help elect the Big O. Mother and daughter were thrilled when Gunc told them he could provide a hook-up just across the river from his country house in a deeply red blob of the Keystone State, but as the date approached, little Erica became increasingly nervous. “She’s kind of shy around strangers,” Danika wrote “and she’s worried about having to talk to them.” Gunc replied reassuringly. “She doesn’t have to say anything. Her job is just to stand there and look cute, and help soften the effect of me and Tal’s presence so it doesn’t feel as much like we’re some invading fag army.”
The tactic seemed to work out in the field. The two families divided up into various mixed-gender pairs, and after four nauseating hours of driving, parking, and walking among the tiny unmapped dirt roads of a enormous lakeside development, the Gay Uncle is proud to report that only one of the “undecided” voters on their lists was still considering John McCain’t (and this person just happened to be an Evil Racist Bitch who said “it was too close to 9/11 to be voting for a candidate who was running as an African-American” whatever that means). The rest were strong for Barack. This was deeply satisfying to all of the participants. Even Erica said she enjoyed the adventure. But when Gunc asked the girl if the day had gone as she expected, she shrugged. “Not really. When you said we’d be going door-to-door, I sort of thought we’d be, like, parking on a street, going up to every house, and ringing the bell. Like Halloween” The G.U. nodded. There had indeed been more driving than interacting. (And a complete lack of costumes or free candy.) “But I felt like I did a good job using my special ability,” the girl said. The Gay Uncle squinted as if he didn’t understand. “You know,” she smiled. “Looking cute!”