The Gay Uncle just returned from a trip to the beach with his friend Danika, and her two daughters Erica, 9 and Anna, 6. Perhaps Gunc is losing his edge, or maybe the kids (and parents) have just mellowed with age, but he didn’t bear witness to any major problems. This was sort of disappointing to him, since he lives for conflict. What he did discover was one niggling and ongoing issue: tone. He’s not one of those people who wants kids to beg for everything with pandering and complimentary language, calling adults ma’am and sir, or formally saying please and thank you very much when asking for the mustard. And he certainly understands that kids live in the present tense and the immediate, and when they have a desire, they feel the urge to act on it. He even gets that children are, by their very nature, excitable and egocentric. But this doesn’t mean they can’t be asked to break out of these habits, especially once they hit the second half of their first decade, and be expected to learn NOT to whine and repeatedly demand their every whim be catered to as soon as the thought enters their head, and issue invectives like “Give me that shovel!” or “Put me in my floaty toy!” or “Make me a grilled cheese!” to anyone, adult or child alike.
Of course, like everything with young kids, this isn’t accomplished by screaming and acting like the world is on fire whenever they transgress. This kind of extreme (and exciting) reaction only tends to reinforce the behavior. It is more productively accomplished by simply stating why this is perhaps not the best means to convince someone to do your bidding, providing another option, or just reminding the child that it is not possible for you to do what they want right that moment because you are engaged in something else and that you’re happy to help once you’re done. If they persist, put the onus on them to figure it out. “What did I just say I was doing? That’s right, taking off my shoes. So, can I go in the water yet?” This not only pulls them out of their own need state, it forces them to analyze the world around them, and accustom themselves to the idea that others have needs too. This may seem obvious to you, but it isn’t to a kid. If all that doesn’t work, simply ignore them. There is little more satisfying than tuning out an annoying child.
Nice but i think something is missing.