Ever wonder why your child doesn’t abide you when you talk? It’s because you’re doing it totally wrong! Check out this timely new chunk of advice from The Gay Uncle in this month’s issue of Parenting Magazine. The interview on which this article was based took place way back in March, and the G.U. didn’t know that it actually got published until he happened across it in the bathroom of his friend’s house in Long Beach, CA this evening. The fact that it’s Yom Kippur, and that his friend is a Rabbi, makes him think that this is somehow a sign from god that he has been inscribed in the book of life for the year, despite the fact that he wiled away his faith’s holiest of holy days trying to help a major beverage company figure out how to market an artificially-sweetened, fruit-flavored, electrolyte-filled beverage to teens. Now that’s not nice! Good Yom Tov, everyone.