HS&M3

The Gay Uncle was fortunate enough to be invited to an advance screening of the eagerly awaited, brand new, big screen, destined-to-be-more-popular-than-Christianity, Disney sequel High School Musical 3: Senior Year last night. Could he have said no? Sure. That is, if he hadn’t already seen both HSM1 and HSM2 multiple times; if he didn’t own the soundtrack to the first movie and listen to it with embarrassing frequency on his iPod while working out at the gym; if he didn’t have a Tiger Beat poster of Zac Efron hanging in his writing studio; and if wasn’t his JOB to be profoundly, disgustingly, market-savvily aware of the kind of candy colored, inane, and extraordinarily compelling filmic goo young people are watching these days. Of course, as with achieving anything worthwhile, he had some obstacles to overcome in attending–mainly in terms of derisive public opinion. When he told his friend Babs that he was going, she teased him that anyone over twenty-five who attended the movie without a child should have to register as a sex offender. When he told his nine year-old niece that he’d was going, she said: “Uncle Brett? I have just one thing to say to you: You are extremely gay!” But was he dissuaded? Absolutely not. He rode up to Time’s Square, pushed in front of lines of children literally doing back-flips in anticipation, and took a seat in the roped-off reviewers’ section.

So what did he think? Well, while his ears are still ringing from the deafening shrieks of the clots of spoiled seven year-olds in the audience, he has to say he had a pretty good time. The core conflicts and narrative trajectory could have been much clearer. The film was about fifteen minutes too long in the middle. He finds Ashley Tisdale’s face impossible to focus on, and her voice reminds him of someone ice skating on sheet metal. And there were a few too many ballads. But Troy’s two big numbers were great, all the Footloose inspired choreography and butchy dancing with basketballs and junkyard cars made him giddy (perhaps too giddy?), and the lunchroom scenes continued to wow. Not that those of you who are parents will have any choice, but he recommends that you go see it.