Spelunking Safety (Nasal Edition)

death-valley-looking-inside-mine-shaft.jpgIt’s allergy season, which means that the Gay Uncle is all schnootzig. The only relief seems to come at night when the contents of his nose cake up for the duration of his slumber. Once morning arises, this naturally brings up the issue of getting that stuff out of there. How does this connect to young children? Well, since they’re constantly acquiring germs from other kids, they deal with Gunk-in-the-Trunk (as in Elephant’s trunk) all time. And while a tissue is great when they have a runny or stuffy nose, the Gay Uncle believes that nothing trumps a finger for excavating the hard clumpy stuff. You know what he’s talking about. Nose Picking.

The G.U. is a believer in some level of propriety, so he doesn’t want to eat dinner with a kid whose finger is permanently inserted in their nostril. But he thinks it’s fine to let you kid dig around in their schnoz away from the prying eyes of the general public. (You can decide if this includes you or not.) Frankly, teaching them to self-pick is a hell of a lot less grody than having to go spelunking in there yourself. Just be sure to alert them as to where you believe nasal mining is acceptable, and where it isn’t. And in the not okay places, you can teach them to hide their activities behind what Gunc likes to call The Social Shroud (Kleenex).

Finally, if your kid is going to dive in unprotected, make sure their nails are clipped–we don’t need any more blood on our hands in this country–and that they wash their mitts before and after; finger-to-nose contact is one of the top means by which colds are transmitted. (Allergies, sadly, are non-transferable.)

One Reply to “Spelunking Safety (Nasal Edition)”

  1. No to spanking, yes to nose picking:) Got it!! (Actually, sadly, I agree with you–as I do on most things)

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