The Gay Uncle’s seven tween nieces are all obsessed with a recent movie–and no, I’m not talking about Lars VonTrier’s Antichrist. It’s that one with the chaste bloodsuckers. Anyway, he was down visiting of these girls, 10.5 year-old Amber, the day the movie opened, where he learned about a cute little trick the girl’s mother–Gunc’s sister Roxy–had just played (and which you might want to try at home). While Amber was in the bathroom getting ready for the screening, Roxy told her that she’d seen the girl’s #1 heartthrob, Rob Pattinson, on the Letterman show the night before. “He revealed some very interesting information,” Rox shouted through the door. “What was it?” Amber answered, interest piqued to fissile levels. Roxy paused, for dramatic effect. “He’s gay!” Amber, having grown up with the G.U. as one of her guiding mentors, didn’t stamp her foot or attempt to argue or reject this argument on Biblical grounds, she simply put down her brush, sighed once, and said, “I knew it!”
Roxy admitted that this was all a joke. But Gunc can’t help but wonder: what was her clue?