Heel!

As part of his ongoing quest to prove that the world gets exactly what it deserves, the Gay Uncle would like to present to you a product called Heelarious . G.U. is not quite sure it is as “funny” as its brand name indicates, but then again, he’s never been a huge fan of debilitating footwear on children. It’s Gunc’s belief that all kids should be encouraged to wear shoes that allow them to run, jump, climb (and strut) with ease, while minimizing the risk of falls, abrasions, broken ankles, and strained spines. Based on these standards, he’s thinking that these infant stilettos don’t really make the cut. But perhaps you have different goals? For example, maybe you’re interested in foot binding. Or you think girls should learn to sprint in heels so they’re prepared for outrunning potential assailants in their teens. Or you wish to encourage your daughter to become a pole-dancing stripper/whore. Or maybe you just have one of those drag-loving femmy boys. In which case, have at it. Who knows, maybe wearing these will help your child develop a mean roundhouse kick, and they’ll become a “famous” action star. It worked for RuPaul!

Thanks to Nancy for the tip!